aha moment

My little sis is moving across the country next month; I am sad she is leaving. While, I am happy, excited, and hopeful for her new experiences and opportunities....what makes me sad is that she will probably never be back here to live (that's the reality, but, I could be wrong). Who ever made it okay to live apart from our family is a self-centered a**hole. I have a few people in mind when I rant about this. I don't have the energy to go into it. Besides I need to stop reliving that which I don't want in my life. This is me trying to let go (I know that is on my list #?). Living apart from ones family does not fit into my family concept. I guess that's the difference between theory and reality.
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There has been some interesting conversation on "the boards". These are lesbian women who have become pregnant through AI. They have found pregnancy is not all it's cracked up to be. I don't really know what I want to say about this....hum....let's see. I think this is one of those theory/reality conundrums I was speaking of before. In theory my (eventual) pregnancy will be glowing, healthy, and easier than it looks. In reality I may have horrible nausea, constipation, and hemorrhoids. In theory the birthing experience will be wonderful, amazing, and text book perfect. In reality I may have to throw my birth plan out the window. In theory when the baby arrives she or he will be healthy, we will easily bond, and the baby will breast feed with no problems. In reality I may be scared, blue, wondering what the hell I just did, and the unthinkable--I may hate breast feeding. No matter how bad one wants to be pregnant it is no fun to be nauseous, constipated, or any of the other (possible) unpleasant side effects. I think lesbian conception is so over thought/planned that there is a huge expectation...I don't know what I'm trying to say. But, I just imagine a mentality of "well, you asked for it". I want to be prepared (I want some type of realistic view of what I'm getting myself into) and I want it to be okay if pregnancy is not all that it's cracked up to be. My point is that nobody really understands what it is like until they are living it. I can try to imagine all day what it will be like to share my body with baby Z. I can try to imagine how my body will change; I can try to imagine how I will feel about that change. But, what I would really like to enter my pregnancy with no expectations...what ever the reality is--is what it is; and that's okay. Love it or hate it; good or bad. And there is my aha moment of the day (the reality is what it is and that's okay).