PPPM

I'm having a poor me moment with relatively little prompting. (And now it's really spiralled). My mom's 50th b-day is today. One of her friends is not coming to her party due to the fact that today is the day of her baby shower. (Yes, my mom told me about the baby shower on the phone knowing I've had a slew of negative hpts (well, not really but, knowing I'm not pregnant this cycle)). I have some jealous toward this woman (A) in part due to her relationship to my mom. A is my age; why does my mom have to have friends that are my age? Why is there friendship better than anything I could even dream of with my mom? (Yes, I'm totally exaggerating there). Why does A seem like the daughter my mom wishes she could have? (This is all in my head). Why does A get the six figure salary, the perfect husband, and the baby? (The life I could possible please my mom with)? Why can't I be happy and content in my life? Why does it seem everyone has it better? Why can't I be happy for any ones success's? Well, in this bitter frame of mind my only solace is that A has had a horrible, puke-filled pregnancy. Why do I have to be such a Bee? Why can't I even be an intrinsically nice person? Why do I have to ask so many stupid, unanswerable questions? But, really, we all know what the point is....Why can't I be pregnant right now--puking and all? Grrr.

Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me