Plan on it?

While, I was unsure if I wanted to insem this month...we are going ahead with preparations (clomid, ordering vials, and making apts). DP felt we should just plan on it; then when we get to insem day we have a choice to do it or not.

14dpi

BFN.

DP was so sure about this cycle...so was I. I feel like I'm letting her down. Can't anything go right for us? I know, I know I have a lot to be grateful for.

I had no tears to cry.

I cried all my tears this a.m. after caring overnight for a wonderful, amazing woman dying of cancer. With all this suffering, struggle, and injustices--I'm really questioning my faith. And I had only just begun praying regularly.

10dpi

I can't wait to test...in 3 or 4 days! I am optimistic. I am operating on blind faith here as I have no symptoms to speak of. I have a job interview--finally. I feel like things are falling into place.

Book

Copied from An Accident of Hope:

Find the nearest book.
Name the author & title.
Turn to page 123.
Post sentences 6-8.
Tag 3 people.

Searching for Mary Poppins: Women Write About the Intense Relationship Between Mothers and Nannies; by: Susan Davis and Gina Hyams.

"Such a strong and long relationship should not have come to such a poignant and abrupt end, and that end should not have been influenced as much as it was by the world outside our home. A childcare provider whose own upbringing had been more flexible might not have Allison's strong work ethic. She might also not have had her innate sense that one system of belief, and only one, was right" (123).

I'm only 17 pages into this book. I like the book; I should go read it now. My mom gave it to me for Christmas. It shows she is really paying attention to the type of books I like, generally non-fiction. One year she actually gave me a book entitled Bitch--for Christmas! I thought it was passive aggressive...well, maybe minus the passive. We are getting along much better now.

Off to read!

P.S. I don't know how one "tags" someone; I would probably skip it any way.

Benefits

I am frustrated because people are fighting in court to take away my same-sex partner benefits as offered by the public schools. They say, "using public funds for same-sex partner benefits violates Michigan's Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA)". Granted this is nothing new--this case has a history dating back to 2003 (I think). It was, however, heard/rehashed in the Michigan Supreme Court this past week. If I could find a decent article about it I would know more. It is so frustrating that people are working to take away benefits from a small, small group of people (I think only 12 couples in the whole district). People should be fighting to ensure more people in our district are insured. I don't want to lose my benefits.