Can't believe...

On the J-O-B front:

I met K yesterday during lunch time; it turned out to be a very productive meeting. K helped me draft a counter offer. Thank-you K:) I wrote it down word for word. I told her I would not be able to add any other words (so true of me). So, I tried to make a counter offer, but, failed miserably. This is what I said, "I really want to accept this position. My only hesitation is the rate of pay your starting me out as. I really need $XX per hour. Is that something your willing to lobby for--for me"? I made some other really good points, including the fact, that they completely discounted my 13yrs. of nanny experience (he totally admitted to this); when in fact my nanny experience is directly related to this position (he totally admitted to this). This could have been a good paying position for me. I would have been dedicated for--I don't know possibly 13+yrs. but no. I blame the universe, f the law of attraction. I just can't get a break anywhere. He said HR puts my info into there "formula" thereby determining my pay rate--they do not negotiate. He supposedly had no idea what the formula involved or consisted of. Believe it or not I took the damn job. Imagine...my tail between my legs, and me slinking away defeated.

I will say this again (maybe I will listen): The money is not the point. I need a new experience. I need to be challenged. (and being challenged by an over-indulged, spoiled six-year-old is not what I had in mind). I need to work for my sanity. I need to contribute something financially to the household. Pay increases do not equate job satisfaction. Large salaries do not equate personal happiness. In fact the more money one has the more worries they have. Less is more. Okay so I have a J-O-B. I am going to forget about the money. But, it is just so frustrating to know that I could have, should have started out at more--but, I'm not. The story of my life. Can I get over this? No, I hold on to shit for a long, long time...forever really. This would really be a good time to work on LETTING GO. Oh, thank-you universe for providing an opportunity for me to work on letting go. Why does gratitude have to be so difficult?

So, I can't believe I took the job. I can't believe I bought a plane ticket to go visit my fam down south. I can't believe I actually felt ovulation pains on my right side for the first time that I can remember. You didn't think I would go a whole post without talking about ttc did you? 1dpi, 13 more to go.